OSHA Eat Your Heart Out

Edit: (2010-11-04), one more post that needed fixing...:

This was the result of a day's work.  You think I'm joking...  Let me elaborate:

The day started out when someone decided that the wooden scaffolding had been up long enough and had gotten weak, so they didn't want to climb up on it.  Therefore, it must be removed and replaced.  Using bush-knives to cut the conda (vine rope) the scaffolding was removed by about ten in the morning.  Then all five guys disappeared for about two hours to go find the appropriate replacement trees, cut them down, and carry them back to the job site.  Next, they had to be erected by the very complicated process of stabbing the log vertically into the ground five or six times until it was sufficiently planted, then crawling up the freestanding structure to attach the horizontal logs.

By this time it was after three and now time to work on the facha boards, the initial reason for wanting to use scaffolding in the first place.  However, in the infant wisdom (no, that's the word I meant to use) found here, the scaffolding did not reach to the desired location.     Instead of building their scaffolding to fit the project, they attempted to use ladders.  This was when I came along... Not before they had set up just one ladder that was pushing on the back side of the gutter facha board which is nailed with two very small nails.  Fearing a repeat of the tumbling action that occurred on this same roof about 9 meters away, I told them to do something else.  This was their idea... I probably should have vetoed this plan too... but they were already standing in this orientation by the time I refilled my water bottle and any distracting movement or sound from me was sure to send at least a couple people tumbling to their demise...

Also, they don't like to measure things first to cut and nail them on the ground where they can actually work, they would prefer to put full length boards up, nail them by randomly swinging a hammer (bending a handful of nails) then later cutting the board to the correct length...

My head hurts from the number of times I've hit my own head because of the things I've seen... I think I'm going to go lay down.

Caption Contest

Everyone loves a good caption contest right? Well, here you go...
Caption away...

Here's a couple to get started:
"Your turn Boaz... I moved the last one..."

"Who put that there?!?!"

Rat Attack

Edit: (2010-11-04) Just realized that my email program stripped off the text... Here it is: 

Last night was another sleepless night... I say "another" because I caught some little stomach bug that's thrown off my ability to eat the diverse cuisine of rice, tin-fish, and sweat leaf.  But that's not the reason last night was so sleepless.  Let me explain:

Many nights, when my mind is thinking about things, I find it quite difficult to sleep.  Usually this isn't a problem as I'll get up in the morning, work a full day and crash the next night.  Sometimes I end up having a week straight were I just can't sleep through the night, but I'm usually able to get my body tired enough to at least sleep for a couple hours.  Because of the stomach bug I've not had the energy during the day to do any work, so the nights have been especially restless the last few days.  On top of that, the rats have started to find our house an enjoyable experience with a virtual buffet table laid out for them to feast all night, every night.  I'm a light sleeper at the best of times, and currently even the geckos occasionally wake me, so having a half dozen rats in the small house sounds like twenty-four feet and well over a hundred claws tap dancing on the floor, the walls, the counter-top, the shelves, the boxes, and around my head.  We've set out traps, but because they're showing some age, they aren't the most reliable things in the world, and the items we've used for bate so far don't seem to be the primary meal choice for these picky eaters.

Last night was especially restless, so I watched 'TV' (portable video player) until I finally started to doze off close to 4am.  I was just starting to dream when, in my dream, something kept bumping my big toe.    The first reaction of my brain (and I assume many other people) is to incorporate external senses into the dream, this made sense at the time, but when that something stopped bumping my toe and performed a proverbial "elbow drop" onto my ankle, I was instantly at a high state of alert.

Grabbing my glasses, flashlight, and appropriately placed flip-flop, my eyes quickly adjusted to the stark contrast and severe intensity of the photons reflecting from the mosquito net to focus on a pair of beady eyes staring back at me.  I literally lept into action (much to the chagrin of my head) and started pummeling the foam mattress at the approximate location where the eyes had disappeared.  However, because of the thickness of the foam, the inconsequential thickness of the flip-flop and the tightness of the mosquito net holding all of it just slightly off the floor, I was unable to inflict adequate injuries to the cohabitant that so rudely interrupted my night.

Having a more of a sense of relief than disappointment in the fact at letting the intruder vacate, I attempted to let my heart rate return to a two digit number as I continued to sit at the foot of my bed, when out of the extreme corner of my eye (the part not looking through my glasses), the bed netting at the other side of my bed "fluttered".

My initial reaction to this new sensory input was twofold.  Firstly, I was supremely confident that there was another rat still inside my bed netting, and to continue my night, must be removed.  Secondly, and with equal confidence, I could not believe that there would be two rats that would be able to find their way into my usually quite securely fastened netting.  Still, I could not take the chance of the latter proving false and ripped the pillow away from the head of the bed, while still holding the flip-flop.

For a moment the two creatures stared back at each other in disbelief and shear terror.  One final thought flashed through my mind just prior to the utter flailing that followed:  I really don't want to sleep in rat pee/guts/blood.  The details of what followed will soon be lost to history as my mind was still somewhat groggy from the hour (nearly five am) and the limited amount of rest afforded my mind.  Essentially the rat ended up trapped beneath a palmed flip-flop just off the side of the bed, was "squished" for a seemingly adequate period of time, then, as pressure was reduced, a half-skinned rodent flashed out from under the rubber.  Thankfully for all involved, the disappearance of renewed shock was faster than a half-skinned rodent, and it suffered no more.

Having disposed of the rat appropriately, I returned to a slightly violated, horizontal, and rat free position only to doze off just as the sun was cresting the hill around six or six-thirty this morning.

And to think that before all I thought the mosquito netting was supposed to keep out was the mosquitoes... Who knew?